Walking into I Hop:
Me: "I HAVE TO SHIT!!!"
Friend: "Honeyyy wait till after you eat... It'll push it RIGHT out!"
While waiting at our table to order:
Friend: "I look and feel like I've been hit by a truck."
Friend: "Just so you know, your eyelash is hanging off... and it's been like that all night. I just didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd go back in the dressing room and go all OCD for 20 minutes and you seemed like you were on a roll."
*I pull my false eyelashes off and plop them on the table.*
Friend: "Put your eyelashes away."
Me: "I have nowhere to put them."
Friend: "Put them in a container."
Me: "I don't have a container. Should I put them in my vagina?... like a ... drug smuggler?" *"brilliant" grin, then delirious laughter*
How is it that night after night I put myself together to the 9's, and my earnings are hit or miss, yet the one night I have my eyelash hanging halfway off like a crackhead almost the entire night, I have the best night I've ever had? It was this question rolling through my head that had me laughing out loud to myself like a crazy person all the way through the restaurant on my way to the bathroom, and my entire time alone in the bathroom. I mean come on! It makes no fucking sense! There is no formula to Vegas. It is so based on luck it's enough to make anyone batty.
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Ha.... put em in your box.
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